Hey Yall I went to the photo studio today to show yall I am growing old with my good looks intact. Yall dude chatters is jealous ya'lls not a handsome dude like me. I keep my looks coz I have a diet of Mash Taters. I am still having treatment for my RAD = Reality Attachment Disorder..Or as most of yall know me as " Bloody Loon Liar "Yall
knows I'd sooner
climb a tree to tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the
truth. I am still trying to poke some old Bagger Wimmin. But most have zero taste. How could they reject a handsome dude like me? I am now on my 73rd career. The latest is a horse dealer & swine herder. I hate to be a gnusance having to remind you 75 + ladies but I really am god's gift to the female gender. I got me 7th DUI yesterday so I plan to buy me some new conveyance. Gonna get me a painted steed, so yall can call me " Painted Rider " agin. Most of you remember how I swam ashore when that thar Oil Rig went kaboom!! Dayum I fell asleep on that thar beach where I landed. Took me a whole 11 months to wake up. Singed all my beard. Below
is my Galfriend Shannon! Dayum she's hotter than a goat’s butt in a
pepper patch. Durn I know she's a might young for my tastes. But a poke's a poke jes the same. " I gits her dun " .
Della don't seem to pay no mind. She sez kissin me is like lickin the hound's ass..Strange woman that one. If she didn't feed me Hominy Grits so well and make me good Taters we would have divorced long ago. Dern
tootin " she make the finest biscuits this side of the
Mississippi.”
Some dame recently called me a long chinned fool. I tell you no lie " I have been told I have a nice chin " . Dayum
when yalls making fun of my chin I gets as mad as a three-legged dog
trying to bury a turd on an icy pond.
I got me a new contract coming soon..Going to mop suds in every Bud plant in the US of A . Mebbe Canada to? I told the CEO of Bud I can't be available 18 hours a day coz I am busy posting lies and shit in chatrooms to impress semi-senile toofless old cows. Besides my broken tibia ain't quite healed. I only broke it 3 years ago. Fedex and me is making great progress on a settlement. They said they would give me another 11 scooters and 3 more checks. But I am going to hold out for more, coz I don't feel it's generos nuff!
Below is some of my more intellectual friends. I call them that because they are nowhere near as stupid as they look or act. They are real patriots, mebbe they are as thick as shit..Don't know their ass from their elbow. My heroes. But they mean well. We don't want no more getting on medicaid with me. Hell I been mooching and malingering for 42 years. Since I got back from my sniper deployment in Nam killing VC for $457 a month. I should have gone on the VA when I got back but they said they don't take 11 year olds without their pop's consent. When I find out the name of my pop I'll sign up to the VA.
I
am going to visit Batty soon, down in the Holler "durn she's as
Loopy
as a cross-eyed cowpoke’s lariat.” Need to polish one of my $150k rigs. I only have two left. I gave my 3rd $150k rig to my Nephew Melvin. I have always done them things..Tossed $150k rigs around like confetti. Well folks I have to take me a Siesta..My favorite is a Mexican Siesta..Della get's to wake me up and tell me it's " Siesta Time ". It's not that I am lazy. It's just that I don't like any kind of work. Besides SSDI pays good money to asshole malingerers like me..That's why I am a Tea Bagger..We baggers have a common cause, to end all entitlements, cept mine of course. This country can't afford any more lazy lying useless bastards like me.
Later today I am going down to IKEA see if they have any more of tham thar reject corner shelves. I can mash them up a bit and say I made them meself. Some of my old ladies are really impressed when they get one and I tell them they were made by my Master Carpenter's hands ( my 21st career ). Everythang is hunkey dorey sho nuff wid me N Julie. I
gots me some sqewril meat and I am a cooking a stew fer us. " I gits r
dun " . Durn I luv that Palin woman below, she's a real hottie. Bit stoopid tho,the
engine’s runnin’ but ain’t nobody driving!
Dayum, would you jes believe it? Got meself busted in another lie. I only posted the following in a chatroom to improve my image from being known as a loathsome disgusting pos, to a less disgusting pos. PatSpanksTheLibs: lmao I've never dated a woman over 50 yet lol I didn't expect somebody to pick up on such a blatant lie. I gits no luck! If this here Elmandingo keeps abootin me I'm agonna threaten him with my biker pals. The same bikers I threatened that 71 year old widow " Maggy " with. The old woman was livin alone at the time. That soon made her stfu.." I git's r dun " OK dudes..I durn gone did it agin. Engaged my fingers on the keyboard afore I engaged my Gnu brain. Fessing up to my medicaid was bad nuff. Now I have done it on my drug use. (see below)
Dayum, I have decided I am going to tell all about my 4 wars in the Military. Unless I decide to make it 5 or 6 ? Dayum I just got me out of the lock up. Some Christmas I had. I was atellin my chat pals I thought the guy I was in with was a fag. Hayul I jes busted meself agin. I was asked if I ever shagged a fag. I said, " hayul no" but I shagged a dude who shagged one. (see below)
I am now on my 75th career. I am a bona fide licensed wrecker. Licensed by the Texas Republic no less. I can produce my license any time I wish, cept in the next ten years. Two new careers to add to my portfolio..Window Fabricator & Cabinet Maker. Is there anybody keeping a total?
Latest news in AOL is that I have returned to using my old poser name of Verbal007 it's great for posing as a vet when I have stated I am working at one of my new careers 